A Little of What's Going on.

These past few days have been by far the toughest I've ever had to go through. Its not just one thing. It just snowballed on me. First off and by far the *most* painful Ricardo broke up with me for a reason I have yet to understand. But again thats not somehting to be discussed here. Then yet another plan for my education crumbled around my feet. Then a guy from my past who I had hoped and prayed I would never see again came back and is trying to be a aprt of my life again.. not something i'm ready for. Tomorrow I also face a very crutial doctors appointment. On top of all that I have friend and family issues that I really have no idea how to face.
Up until less than a week ago I thought I was really on top of the world. I had never been happier in my life. It was all I could do not to smile... and today I couldn't even smile at something that cracked me up completely two weeks ago. I've really been through my share of crap over the past few months and I really thought it was all over. I thought my life was finally looking up again.. and I can't believe everything is in pieces around me agian...

Another of my little pieces of writing

Once I Thought I Could Fly

Once.. on a cold fall night.. I thought I grew wings. I stood close to you, and you smiled at me. You lead me to believe you loved me. I've been hurt countless times before. I gave my heart away and it was abused. bad. You were different. I knew I shouldn't have fallen for it.. but I did. I thought those wings would let me fly.. and I jumped.. Now I'm falling. I see the ground fast approaching. I know you're near by... and i need you to catch me.. but will you? Am I worth saving.. or will you let me crash into the ground? You're still flying in my mind..but where have my wings gone?

Vomit Tastes Like Cheez Whiz Toast.. and Other Tragedy's

I'm not going to get too much into this here. Its not the place for it. But just so I don't have to answer anymore questions.. last night Ricardo broke up with me. Does anyone have any scotch tape? I need to fix my broken heart. Nothing has ever made me feel so bad and broken up before.. and i've been through some pretty shitty things... believe me. But you know what they say... and if you don't.. too bad. Thats what I have to do.

Peace and Blessings

Why The Move? And Other Buisness.

Seems I have been getting some weird messages from people who are accusing me of being something i'm obviously not. So i decided I would move my blog and not give the person i suspected it to be the address to see if it goes away. That being said.. if you're reading this now.. its not you :)
So i Haven't made a apost in awhile. I apologize for that. Been that time of year again when we start having midterms. They ones i've had thus far haven't been that bad so i can't complain. HOwever i will complain now. because its what I do best. I have to go to not one.. but two different doctors today. And anyone who knows me knows one of them is among my greatest fears. I Have to go to the dentist today. Usually its not so bad because i get gased, but today i have to drive myself .. so i can't get gased. And i have to go to the eye doctor right after :( i'm pertrified. My tummy is doing flipity flops :( Anyway i shouldn't really be talking about it because it only makes it worse.
I applied to go back working at the rec centre today for this summer. Only difference is i finally applied for the coordinator postion. I mean i've worked there just as long as anyone else thats on staff now.. day camp for three years. Who knows the job better than me. My first year there i was basically sitting there with Roc doing the work with her. Iknow what I'm doing. I realllly hpe i get this job. God this summer would be AWESOME then. I love camp and i just wanna help make it better.. (did that sound as dorky as i preceive it?)
Anyway I really don't have that much more to say. I have to go get ready to go anyway :( uggh i'll let you know how it went! Thanks for reading guys!

Peace and Blessings