This weekend.

So thursday Night I started interveiwing for my summer staff. Its gonna be hard to chose thats for sure. soo many good interveiws. I hope the summer goes well. i don't want to let down the Board after all they've done for me.

Friday was the opening night for "The Angry 12" Opening night wasnt all that great. But what can you do. we all went out to Subway afterwards. It was awesome. Don gave me roses too. God love him. that man is awesome! he's soo sweet! I'm going to keep him :)

Last night I was in the show. It went excellent. It was at Rabbittown theatre. It took us a lil while to find it haha but when we did it was great. What a cute lil spot. We filled the house and the audience loooved it. Then we went to Jungle JIms afterwards. Everyone was just completely foolish. Poor Janet got picked on soo much. The cast went to Don's afterwards but i was soo damn tired I just had to go home and go to sleep. I slept almost 12 hours. it was awesome.

Today I'm just kind of chillin anfd taking it east. Tomorrow I have a big day ahead of me! hehe I get to hang out with Terry ! I'm soooooo excited! sooooooo sooooo sooooooooooooooooo excited!! hehe I don't think i'll be able to sleep tonight! i just can't wait. then tuesday I have to work at both of my jobs lol I have to go to the school then go to the rec centre for registration then home for supper then back to do more interveiws.. awesome. LOL i'm kinda looking forward to wednesday. heheas much as i'm looking forward to tomorrow though ehe

Saturday I also made a very very smart choice as far as I'm concerned. Said person is prolly reading this. I made the right choice. I gave you enouh chance to right the wrongs you made. No more chances. There will be nothing between us.. ever. You brought it on yourself and I feel sorry for you. I was right. You have a lot of growing up to do.

Peace and Blessings

Gone - Kelly Clarkson

I was telling someone about this song the other day. So I thought I would post it so he could get a good look at it.

"Gone"

What you see's not what you get

With you there's just no measurement

No way to tell what's real from what isn't there

Your eyes they sparkle

That's all changed into lies that drop like acid rain

You washed away the best of me

You don't care

You know you did it

I'm gone

To find someone to live forIn this world

There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight

Just a bridge that I gotta burn

You're wrong

If you think you can walk right through my door

That is just so you

Coming back when I've finally moved on

I'm already gone

Sometimes shattered

Never open

Nothing matters

When you're broken

That was me whenever I was with you

Always ending

Always over

Back and forth, up and down like a rollercoaster

I am breaking

That habit

Today

You know you did it

I'm gone

To find someone to live forIn this world

There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight

Just a bridge that I gotta burn

You're wrong

If you think you can walk right through my door

That is just so you

Coming back when I've finally moved on

I'm already gone

There is nothing you can say

Sorry doesn't cut it, babe

Take the hint and walk away

'Cause I'm gone

Doesn't matter what you do

It's what you did that's hurting you

All I needed was the truth

Now I'm gone

What you see's not what you get

What you see's not what you get

You know you did it

I'm gone

To find someone to live forIn this world

There's no light at the end of the tunnel tonight

Just a bridge that I gotta burn

You're wrong

If you think you can walk right through my door

That is just so you

Coming back when I've finally moved on

I'm already gone

I'm already gone

Oh, I'm already gone, gone, gone, gone

Already gone

I'm gone

New job.. again. lol

Well its been a week since I've updated so I thought I would just write a little something. I got hired on as the Day Camp Coordinator at the rec centre. Which just basically means I plan and manage the day camp program. I have my own staff of approx 10. How awesome is that. I start to interveiw and hire them on thursday :) so thats pretty cool.

My show is also on saturday night, at Rabbittown theatre at 7:30... I sure hope I can find the place. My parents aren't even going. there is a masterless men concert in here that night. oh well. i'm not torn up about it or anything.

Umm, what else can I tell you? May 24th was a let down. I did diddly squat. Not that I would have gone camping had i gotten the chance.. I'm not really the camping type.. as you can imagne. I don't see the appeal of waking up outside.. dirty.. freezing.. stinky.. and enjoying it... meh..

I did however get engaged. Jason asked me to marry him and I accepted. Jason is one of the nicest most sweetest most caring guys I know. I'm lucky to have such a great hubby :) Last night I showed him all the wedding plans.. but he told me i could only have one kid.. as opposed to the four I had planned on.. however I shouldn't argue because I finally found someone who's willing to put up with me.. its not something i should mess with. we discussed this after our wonderful night parking on signal hill... with Kayla LOL

so thats about all I have to say.. i'm pretty sure i'm forgetting something but I'll blog about it later if i remember.

Peace and blessings.

Philip Riteman

Today I had the great honour of listening to a man speak about his life. He's in his 70's I would suppose. Has a thick European accent. Why was it such an honor? He spent 4 years in Achwitz, probably the most infamous concentration camp the Nazi army had. I probably spelled it wrong. I sat there for an hour and a half and cried my eyes out as he described in vivid detail horrible things he witnessed done and had done. It was actually his job at one time to go into gas chambers.. pile bodies into a wheel barrow and then shovel them into an oven. He saw babies riped from mothers arms and just thrown into a pile.. and blindly shot with a machine gun.

However what really touched me was his reason for telling his story.. which he said he didn't talk about for 40 years, and hates talking about to this day. He said there are people out there who want to convince the world this didn't happen. and once people like him are gone then they have no one left with first hand accounts to tell others about it. he's telling out generation so we know never to let it happen again. never again. He wants this generation to conquer the world with Love. quite the concept. no one has conquered with hate and only hostility bitterness anger and hurt has come with it.. imagine what we could do with a world of love. I know I will never forget. He said that was his biggest fear. that people would forget him and his story. I won't. I will never forget seeing the tears in that mans eye when he pulled up his sleve and showed us his prisoner number.. tattooed on his arm as a permenant reminder of a painful past. God bless you Philip Riteman, I won't forget. Never Again.

Peace and Blessings

A Super Weekend.

So I had an awesome weekend.

Friday night I was supposed to go downtown, but we didn't and decided to hang out at Kayla'a instead. Not only did I get to hang out with my girls I also got to hang out with my new friend Tony. Which I really enjoyed. I look forward to hanging out with him more in the future.

Saturday night I got an unexpected invite to go downtown yet again, and I experienced downtown sober for the first time. People warned me that i would hate it.. but you know.. I loved it! i had an awesome time. I got to hang out with people i don't get to see very often and i just had an all around awesome time. Luckily I got the next weeks weather forecast too... Thanks for that Robert! :oP

Today I just kinda chilled at home and I had rehersal tonight. You people have no idea how thankful I am to get back into acting. I've missed it soo much and I hope this opens oppertunity for me to do it more often. its one of those passions I had almost forgot I had in me.

Again. on another serious note.. which i have been tending to do for the past few weeks when blogging.. I just want to express my sheer gratitude to God for blessing me with such amazing people in my life. My family and friends are just so awesome all the time. People get very few true friends in this life time and it is extremely evident to me who mine are. They appreciate me and I truly and honestly appreciate them to no end. God has made me wealthy with relationships that I can hold dear to my heart for a lifetime. I wouldn't be near the person I am today without the people who mean the most to me. You know who you are. You have been angels sent from heaven and I owe who I am today to the experiences and reactions and proactions we have shared. Dear God in your sons name I ask you bless those people who have helped to make me the person I want to be. Amen.

Peace and Blessings

I'm at work now..

sitting here in Mr Galloways earth systems class. My second one today. redundant? yes.

So the point of this post? I had a bit of an emotional breakdown last night and said some things i probably shouldn't have said. I blamed other people for my crappy mood and that wasn't fair. I chose to be in a crappy mood. No one can "make" me be in a crappy mood. I chose to be that way and I apologize for that. I was being reactive when I should have been proactive. If i don't like the way things are I should do something about it, not whine and hope something happens. Ricardo & Stefan, I'm sorry for the way I acted last night and I hope you can forgive me for my moment of selfishness. I'm not a selfish person and I do care deeply about other people and how their lives are. Thats just the way I am and I can't expect everyone to be like me too. Most people aren't and I accept that.

This week..

So this week I realized a few things. first off I think if cared half as much about myself as I do about other people I would be much much happier. I've cried for other people three times this week. And I've spent most of my week concenred about other people.. to the point i forgot to eat on two different days. Thing is I can't even see why I bother. Its like any time I try to make anyone happy that person or another tell me what it is I am doing wrong with MY life. Like i'm some kind of idiot for being concerned about other people. I know very well what I'm doing. It makes me happy to see other people happy. what brings me down is those people telling me its wrong to think that way. If i was doing it for gratitude I wouldn't do it at all.. as I rarely get any. Thats not what its about. Its about one human being reaching out to another when they need someone.
Secondly on a somewhat related note I also realized most of my stress comes from trying to please everyone. I try to please my parents by coming home on time, I try to please my girls by staying out and chilling with them, I try to please other friends by talking to them and getting to know them better and spending time with them, i try to please the people I work with by volunteering to take on more work than I can probably handle on my own..I leave very little time for me to understand whats going on around me. I guess i'm just used to having someone there to calm me down and hug me when I really need it. I can't remember the last time somebody hugged me because *I* needed it.
Its not that I feel underappreciated or anything. Thats not what I'm saying. I guess what I'm really saying is I miss having someone to keep me sane. Someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok. Someone to tell me the world spins without me, because sometimes I tend to forget these things. I miss being loved. People just aren't meant to be alone.


..Peace and Blessings

Back to work..

Well finally I can say I am no longer unemployed. I started work at the school again Monday. The kids there really don't know how good they have it. I just took one of my tutoring periods in Mr. Galloways Earth Systems class to lecture the class on how good they have it now.. and when or if they get to MUN or CONA not to expect profs to be so accomidating to them. Its sick how many breaks you get in high school. Looking back on it the only thing high school really taught us about the real world is how it isn't. That being said I would give my right arm to go back to high school. I miss having that relationship with your teachers wheer you can go up and give them a kick in the arse.. or tell them exactly how you feel about everything. That was the great thing about St. Kevin's we always were a pretty tight group, Even if we thought we weren't.

I am also pretty damn exhausted this week. from ebing up late talking to having the horrid headache i can't get rid of.. I really am in need of some decent sleep. I think i shall take some pills to help me sleep tonight. I do however wanna get out of the Goulds for a bit tonight. this place can really suffocate a person if you're not careful. I hate to admit it but this place has really gone downhill. I used to pick up for it.. but its just not worth my breath anymore. Skeets and potheads is all you see. There are very few decent people left in here. Thank God I have my girls to keep me sane. I really wish I had moved to BC.. it definatly would have saved me a lot of heartache and I might be a bit further ahead now than what I am. Even though i would be back for the summer by now. Hopefully i'll get out of here for a bit if i can get the money to go to harlow.. Also the trip me and the girls are talking about taking next year would be awesome. It will be just like From Justin to Kelly.. except without that Biatch Alexa! hehe I can't imagine anything more fun than going down south with my girlies for a week. wow.. the trouble we could get into and the adventures we could have. those girls are my heart I swear!

Anyway I don't really have a whole lot more to say.. so have a great day ya'll!

Peace and Blessings!

" Rhonda, You're one of the nicest people I know"

The above title is a statement I have heard 12 times since last weekend. 12 times. Thats about 1 and a half times a day. and this makes me wonder. Am I treated poorly by the majority of people I let in my life because I'm "so nice".. Or am I this successful in my life because I am "so nice" or is it both? I just don't get some people. People will tell me i'm sooo nice in one breath and put me down in the next.. if I'm as nice as you people say I am .. wouldn't you make an effort to be nice back to me? would that just make sense? Or am I being crazy and bitchy all the time and you guys are just afraid to tell me? I'm actually quite perplexed about said situation. Maybe its just a classic case of "nice girls finish last". Because really if I am the nice girl you all say I am then i really need some explaination as to why every time i let someone new in my life they hurt me. I have to be a horrible person right? thats the only way this can make sense to me.

Anyhoo... the past week has been very relaxing. Just chilling out at home all last week. Hung out with the girls a few days. Rented Raise your Voice one night. Friday night went to Evans and wtached a movie and found out every possible mistake the director made Evan could find. haha Kinda funny. Had the Leo convention here in the Goulds the weekend too. That went a lot better than expected. Seems as though some of the male population of the 'round the bay Leos have matured a little since last year and have become tolerable. it was fun times. Went to the home show yesterday too. lol I keep forgetting every year why i don't like going there.. and then i get there and i'm like oooh yeah.. now i remember.. i don't like this place at all. Meh.. gave me something to do all afternoon. Anyway I have to be to work in an hour so i must leave you all.

Peace and Blessings

P.S. Happy 21st Birthday Ricardo!