Summer Review

Its been a very interesting summer to say the least. Not exciting per say, but very eye opening in the sense that I survived. My fist summer totally and completely alone.. and I lived. I'm not saying it was easy. It was a huge adjustment for me. This summer was just overall completely different from anything I've ever had to do. Its just that everything changed. Everything was just slightly different enough to throw me off course there for awhile. I got a promotion, which was amazing but also a lot of hard work. People really misunderstood my roll that I had there and it made communication difficult so it seems. However, as far as my job goes I was very please with how my summer went. Hightlights from work include:
- The treasure hunt (haha come on guys it wasn't that bad)
- Day Camp Idol
- Green Koolaid
- Kangaroo Kourt
- Hunting the mess fairy
- Solving the case of the misaimed pee
- Johnny hehe
- Wasting lots of time at salmoneir nature park
- Janie's party
- Dickie being such a good sport ( I love you kiddo)
- Cleaning poop haha
- Tent city and the sighting of the sasquatch
- Not being PJ! haha sorry buddy!

And those are just some of them. I really do honestly and truthfully love my job :)

So on the non-work related end of the summer things were a lil different. Yeah I admit it. I was unhappy. My only saviours were really my girls and rehersing for The Birdcage *coughplugcough*. Sunday nights were always amazing. There is nothing I would not do for my girls. You are honestly the best thing I have in my life, and sometimes my only reason I feel at the time to get up in the morning. You make life worth it. I know I've said it a hundred times, but it was so hard for me to come home and not hear someone say "I've missed you, did you have a nice day" and kiss me. Being loved is something I really miss. And i will never deny that. But I realized tonight when thinking about writing this blog that I'm going to be 20 in two months (from yesterday btw hehe) I need to stop my whining and bitching. Yes ok, I can't have who I want. That isn't the end of the world. I'm distracting myself so much with what I can't have that I'm probably missing a whole bunch of great things that I could have. And it really breaks my heart to admit I'm really ready to move on now. I feel guilty about it. I do. But this summer has made me realize that I'm worth it. And it was his loss (yes I know you're reading this and I am sober this time) So yes it kills me, and yes it still hurts every single day. But I don't need that. I'm missing too much. I'm going to move on. Slowly. I really don't want to rush anything. But 20 is when people start to calm down. Start seriously becoming who you are going to be for the rest of your life. I don't need that extra stress in my life. I don't need the uncertainty of it all. I don't need second guessing. I need stability. I'm not going to run from anything that scares me anymore. Thats what cowards do. Jimmy told me a long time ago to seize life with both hands, and picture myself as a cup and love as water. If you just pour the water around you're left with an empty cup. You have to fill the cup and let it over flow first. And it took me 4 years to get what he meant for real. But Jimmy this summer put into action what you tried to teach me on the rooftop that night. It takes a small person to make someone feel small. No matter what they do. So I survived my summer alone. And its time for me to get my life back in order. Back to school. Back to life. Back to everything thats normal. I'm already gone.

Peace and Blessings!

So here I am. Its 11:09 and I've just settled myself on my bed after getting home from my *LONG* Day of work (7am-10pm). Today was the final day of our summer programs, the much anticipated Bidgoods Summer Blast. Basically in a nutshell the day is 300 children, 40 Staff, 5 Buses, 4 Venues, and 1 responsibility, on me. It actually went REALLY well and i'm so freaking impressed with myself, honestly. I had soo many people commend me on how well it was organized and how smoothly it ran. I didn't get not one complaint from anyone that really mattered. For those of you who don't really know what the Summer Blast is, we take 300 kids and take them to a movie at studio 12, swimming at the aquarena have a bbq and then have a dance. Its absolute madness. It was my first year actually organizing the event, but the 4th year I've done it.

Overall my summer was excellent. I thought it was a really awesome experience for me at such a young age ( in ocmparison to all past co ordinators) to have such a great oppertunity at this job. I'm only 19 years old and I was given a pretty big responsibilty. I'm really glad that the board, despite their hesitation in giving me this job, chose me. I know now i can trust myself to make good decisions, that I am responsible, i can organize and I am a good leader. and despite the fact that i barely had time to breathe in the last three months working in this position this year has actually made me that much more mature, and that much more capable of dealing with great work related stress, deadlines and presentation. It may sound dorky, but this summer has really changed me. I really do believe in my abilities, especially after today.


I never would have done so well without my awesome staff ( see picture above) though. so in no particular order THANK YOU : Joanne, Jill, Sam, Jess, Kim, Raylene, Janie, Chris, Dickie, Michael, Hammond, Kerri, Ryan, Jeff, Stephen, Aaron and Josh!! You guys are absolutely amazing. So helpful and so ready to take on the world all of the time. Also Big thanks to Brenda,
Randy and Nicole. We make a great team. Hope we get to do it again next year!

...

Yep.. I was right. Kicking myself for that one. Continue on about your buisness like it never happened. La La La I attribute the former post to this...

Charlie Lacosta.

I've been thinking a lot about Charlie lately, I'm not really sure why. Anytime I go anywhere I find myself secretly hoping I run into him. Just wanting to run up to him and say " OH My God! Chuck!". I wonder if he even remembers me..? I don't think there is a day that goes by that I don't think about him.

For those of you who don't know Charlie used to be one of my very best friends back in grade 9. I really truly believed the sun shone out of his rear, and i probably would have jumped over the moon for him if i thought it would make him happy. we spent an entire summer together. Every day, he'd ride his bike in from Prescott street just to see me. I think maybe if there is such a thing as a friendship soulmate, he would be mine.

Its been three years since I've seen him , three years! thats a really long time. And I miss him soo terribly. I shared so much with him and I told him absolutely everything, and because he screwed up his life, I lost him, against my will we slowly stopped talking, phone calls went from once a day, to once a week , once a month, once every 6 months and now , not call in a year, and with the path he was headed down, I really don't know if he's alive or dead. I know people have seen him , and those people weren't me. Its sad to see someone throw away their life like that. He was a smart boy with such great potential. he was and i know still is a beautiful person, inside and out. Charlie knew the real me, and i really think i knew the real Charlie. I bared my soul to him and he to me. and now we have nothing, he probably wouldn't even know me if he seen me. Its hard to go from such close friends to strangers, especially under the circumsatnces that we did, and its in times like the ones i've been having lately that I miss him the most. When i kno he would make me feel better and safe a secure again... Charlie if you're out there.. I need you..


Peace and Blessings

I told you so...

So true to my word I'm trying hard to write more often. I had a pretty shitty weekend overall. Went to the family reunion on saturday. It was an ok time. I got pretty drunk bt ended up home in bed by 11 yet again. Most of my cousins have small children so we drank early and finished early as welll. My mom owned the horse shoe tournament as per usual. Kinda missed having stefan there though. Not the same without him, but we all know that was for the best. Sunday again I sat home most of the day and went to a movie with Jason, Kayla and that guy last night. we saw wedding crashers. It was ok. I wasn't overly impressed but it was pretty funny.

So in other news I was reading Aarons BK journal last night and he was talking about al these old memories he had of growing up in the Goulds and it got me to thinking about some of the ones that I have. Remember all of those summer nights we spent on the sidewalk on Boland St? Watching Chubbs and Dennis skateboard. Having those crazy assed run ins with the "grade 8's"
How about selling shells on the side of the road. Me and ash used to do that for hours on end. How about all those nights spent in the park right after me and stefan started dating "stop making babies!" chilling out on the monkey bars just watching starts and being young *sigh* I miss those days, I miss not having to worry about paper work, or GPA's or finals exams and STI's. Life was so freaking simple, back when a month in a relationship was forever and making out meant you got with someone. I really wish we could just all get together for one night of just absolute foolishness. forget about work and school and relationships or lack there of. I'm only 20 and I already miss my youth. I grew up way too fast for my liking. Thats what i get for jumping into things that no 15 year old is ready for I suppose. Not that I would ever change my past, not for a million dollars, its just the curse of what ifs.

I was talking to Stefan last night and he was completely right in saying I haven't been myself in a long time. I really have no idea why i've been acting the way I have been. I don't really have an excuse. I'm just, I have no idea. Its not depressed because i'm still happy. its just I don't know who I am anymore because "me" as the happy person with lots of friends out having a good time feeling good about herself has always included another person, and now for the first time since I found that "me" I don't have another person to share it with. Its strange and unusual and I still haven't found a way to do it properly after 6 months. Its really hard. But like i've said before. I'll do it. I'm strong and now i just have to work on the independant part. I'll be ok. I always am.

Anyhoo I have a meeting to get ready for. People to see events to organize and gosh and golly gee I hope some more paper work to do. Goodnight people. And don't forget to comment. I've been feeling neglected.

Here I am again

The will be my first "real"post in a while. I've been super busy with lots of super cool things to do, what with work and rehersals and all I barely get time for myself anymore. Which explains why I am here in my underroos in bed at 11pm on a friday night. I sometimes just enjoy getting to spend the night by myself and just relaxing. I had another one of those very stressful weeks so its nice to just sit here and not really worry about anything

So exciting news for the week, Well Janie ( the girl from Quebec who was working for me for 6 weeks) finished up at work today, we had a surprise party for her yesterday. I took her out to pick things up with me in the morning for the sleepover next week and while we were gone the kids decorated the gym. I was absolutely amazed at how pretty they made it in only two hors with some construction paper and tape. Its was really pretty. They did it in a hawaiian theme. She seemed really surprised and loved the gifts we gave her. The kids all signed a newfoundland flag and made cards for her and we also bought her a necklace and pendant made from labradorite in the shape of a puffin. It was really pretty. And I made her a dvd slide show of her summer she spent with us with lots of cute and funny pictures of the summer. I think she really enjoyed it.

As well, we went on a boat tour today. and as coordinator i took on the ruling task of taking two different boat tours today and enjoying the beautiful sun and ocean for four and a half hours. Its a tough job but someone has to do it. It was a nice way to end a tough week. next week however will be brutal. our special event s a sleepover and i'm working on reviving the old rec centre tradition of Kangaroo Kourt, which is proving to be a somewhat difficult task. However I am determined to revive said tradition to make the summer more fun like the ones I used to have way back in the day.

On another note I realized today that I'm going to be 20 very very soon. Thats insane. I mean it seems as if i just turned 19, and now here I am staring the barrel of 20. where does time go? Its been a tough year, but as I discovered the other day it actually contained the happiest moment of my lif thus far to date that I can remember. Someone asked me the other day if I could pinpoint the happiest moment of my life that i've lived so far. and I took a really long time to think about it. like hard and serious, and it may shock some people to know what I came up with.. Midnight of new years eve. I really can't remember being so pefectly happy as I was at that moment. I had everything I felt I wanted and needed and I was just so perfectly happy. But like all things real, good things must come to an end and thats over now, Im just very glad I got to enjoy that moment of shear bliss. I know some people aen't so fortunate as to ever experience that feeling that I had, and for that I'm very thankful. I think growing up is supposed to be tough. I think your'e supposed to jump from insanely happy to insanely depressed so easily so you can really experience what "grown up" life is about. because I think lifes moral really could be shit happens , but so does magic. you just have to be prepared. I don't mean to become so philosopical but people this really is what life is all about, its about living. its about gathering experiences, learning and appreciating things for what they are and what they offer. If you can;t take a lesson from a situation be it good or bad I don't think you're really living at all. EVERYTHING happens for a reason, and life is finding that reason.

This has actually become a bit of a long winded entry. But thats ok. I think its best I start wrting here more again. Its been too hard keeping my thoughts bottled up. anyway I'm going to get some beauty sleep, The Bavis Family reunion is tomorrow and I want to look my best. Have a wonderful night everyone. God Bless

Peace and Blessings
Rhonda

More pics

So here's the deal

I had the best day I've prolly had in a very long time yesterday. I got to go to Renews. The one place where I know I have nothing to worry about and i can feel completely free and relaxed and just not stress over anything anymore. It was one of the most beautiful days I remember being there in a long time, and lucky for you guys I brought my camera, so here's a lil treat for the eyes.

Quizzy thing. Make me happy and do it in my comments!

I stole a quiz from Rebecca
Three names you go by:
~ Rhonda
~ Ru
~ Rhondu

Three things you like about yourself:
~ My butt.
~ That I never get really angry
~ The choices I've made thus far

Three things you dislike about yourself:
~ That I don't like being alone
~ my insecurity
~ that i'm so soft hearted

Three parts of your heritage:
~ Irish
~ English
~ Newfoundlander

Three things that scare you:
~ people who pretend their going to hit me
~ Havng my heart broken again
~ Not having kids

Three of your everyday essentials:
~ A shower
~ my purse/wallet
~ friends!

Three things you are wearing right now:
~ tank top
~ Jeans
~ Livestrong

Three of your favorite songs at present:
~ When I see you smile
~ There were Roses
~ Wild is the wind

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
~ English society
~ dancing
~ dating?

Two truths and a lie:
~ I really have to pee right now
~ I'm absolutely terrified of this production
~ I love cheese

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
~ Smile
~ Smell (is that physical?)
~ Eyes

Three things you can't do at the moment:
~ Tell people how I really feel
~ Be who I want to be
~ Run away

Three of your favorite hobbies:
~ Singing
~ Acting
~ Scrapbooking

Three things you really want to do right now:
~ Help a friend who needs it badly
~ Kiss someone
~ Tell that same someone how I feel

Three careers you are considering:
~ Public Relations
~ ^^
~ ^

Three places you want to go on vacation:
~ London
~ Vancouver
~ Cairo

Three kids names:
~ Charleigh Allanaugh
~ Maurita Alice
~ Penelleopea Alexandera
~ and I'm adding a fourth because i'm having four kids Jakub Noah

Three things you want to do before you die:
~ Have children
~ Marry a man who loves me as much as i love him
~ make someone so happy they cry