Life's to do list.

So I was thinking tonight ( I know scary thought, eh?) about how I always talk about my lifes to do list.. that doesn't actually exisit. Its a compilation of ideas I have in my head about what I'd like to achieve and do in my life. I mean i'm sure its something most people have, but never really think about as a check list. I do. I have soo much I want to acomplish in my life, and roughly only 60 or so years (statistcally speaking of course) left to do so. So Here is my unoffical offical lifes to do list.. that I may or may not add to at a future date.

• See the Pyramids in Egypt
• Have someone love me as much as I love them
• Have a big wedding
• Raise beautiful children with a man who adores me
• Step in every ocean
• Sing in front of a crowd again
• Work PR for a major company
• Do a semester at Harlow
• See my girls happy and healthy with the lives they deserve
• Be kissed in a Gondola in Venice
• See Phantom preformed live
• Write the perfect song
• Write a novel
• See my parents retire and travel the world like they want
• Believe it or not, See Raylene get the life she wants
• To die with a smile on my face.

I'm not really sure what else I want to add to this. There are alot of little things I know I want to do, but all my major things are there for now. hmm I really don't know what else to say.

Peace and Blessings

PS Download "Breathe" by Anna Nalick.. yep

He's Just Not That Into You

Ok.. girls.. if you don't already own this book what the hell are you waiting for?! Kayla thank you for lending it to me, you're my hero! I'm gonna post a lil exerpt from it that I just read.. Man I Love this book

Hey Hot Stuff,
Can't wait til you get over that guy you were with. He sounds like a real jerk. Hope its soon. You're way too tasty to be alone for too long. Come find me. I'm out here waiting.

Your Future

Such a simple concept. Its pretty amazing I need a book to tell me something thats such common sense.

Peace and blessings

Half a 26er of Sourpuss + 3 smirnoff ice = one hell of a hangover

So my so called "wicked night" On George didn't turn out so wicked afterall. As you can see by my title, I got hella smashed. Waaaay too drunk than I ever should have been. However all was fine and dandy until I seen Ricardo downtown. I knew the possibility of seeing him was there.. just didn't realize that fully until I actually did see him. Wow.. I didn't see him for two months and I run into him twice on the same day.. what are the odds? I really thoguth i could handle that.. but with as much alcohol as I had in me when I tried to talk to him I just couldn't, I broke down. Its no big secret that I miss him. We alll know that. I know it. You know it. He knows it. I just don't understand why its still so hard for me.. its been over two months. GET OVER IT!

Secondly Evan picked me and Kayla up downtown last night. Thank you for that btw. I'm pretty sure I didn't say that. Anyway long story short Evan doesn't wanna hang out with me anymore. And i really have no clue as to why. What a way to top off my already brillant nigth downtown.

The moral of this story is the best part of my night was when I was hanging out, sober, with Darrin.

In closing

Dear Life,
Fuck off
Love,
Rhonda

I'm so thankful for friends like you

I know I've been somewhat of a sook for the past few months.. *naw really?* .. And I know how hard that can be to deal with sometimes.. and I want to thank each and every one of you for putting up with my crap. And yes.. I know.. my crap is still on going. But i just wanted to express my sincere thank you to each and every one of my friends who has put up with me and made me feel so much better about myself when, frankly, I've been feeling pretty worthless. I know its not like me to feel this way, and i really do know that there is nothing wrong with me.. but sometimes people do things to make you feel like that.. for reasons that cant be explained. You guys are absolutely amazing. Ash, Kayla, Murrdogg, Stefan, Terry, Jason, Darrin, Evan, Erin, Chris.. its 1am.. I'm drawing a blank.. anyone i may have forgotten.. I love you to pieces guys!

On to another note.. I'm finally done my exams tomorrow.. even though I know i'm gonna fail this one I'm not too worried. It doesn't go toward my degree so meh.. i'm not too concerned :) then downtown with my lesbian tomorrow night :) I love you Kayla! we're gonna get that place on the go again! My loyal readers can most definatly look forward to a drunken post tomorrow night :P

I'd like to end my post with a quote from a song By Will Young.. called Leave Right Now

I'm a little more careful, perhaps it shows? But if I lose the highs at least I'm spared the lows..

Peace and Blessings :)

I'll do just about ANYTHING to get out of studying!

LAYER ONE
[x] Name: Rhonda
[x] Birth date: Oct 28th, 1985
[x] Birthplace: St. John's, Newfoundland
[x] Current Location:Goulds
[x] Eye Color: blue and Yellow
[x] Hair Color: Black and pink currently
[x] Righty or Lefty: bothy
[x] Zodiac Sign: Scorpio

LAYER TWO
[x] The shoes you wore today: Super girl
[x] Your weakness: Sex
[x] Your fears: Drowning.. Dying alone
[x] Your perfect Cheese.. Tomatos, Brocoli, mushrooms. Zuchini
[x] Goal you'd like to achieve: See the pyraminds. Have children. Get Married.

LAYER THREE
[x] Your thoughts first waking up: Yep.. still the same
[x] Your best physical feature: My Butt.. obviously
[x] Your bedtime: 11:30ish on weekdays.. 3ish on weekends

LAYER FOUR
[x] Pepsi or Coke: Neither
[x] McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
[x] Adidas or Nike: Nike
[x] Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Nestea
[x] Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate
[x] Cappuccino or coffee: Coffee.

LAYER FIVE
[x] Smoke: No
[x] Cuss: sometimes
[x] Sing: Alll the time
[x] Take a shower everyday: Yep if not more
[x} Do you think you've ever been or are in love? Yes
[x] Want to go to college: University, yeah
[x] Like high school: I loved it!!
[x] Want to get married: Someday
[x] Believe in yourself: If you don't believe in yourself you have nothing to believe in
[x] Think you're attractive: Of course.. i'm Hot!!
[x] Think you're a health freak: Umm not really but i;d like to be
[x] Get along with your parents: Occasionally
[x] Like thunderstorms: Nooooo
[x] Play an instrument: Vocal chords?

LAYER SIX:
In the past month:
[x] Drank alcohol: Yes
[x] Smoked: No
[x] Done a drug: NO
[x] Gone on a date: nope
[x] Gone to the mall?: Yes
[x] Eaten an entire box of Oreo's: Nope
[x] Eaten sushi: yes.. yummmm
[x] Been on stage: *sigh* how I miss that
[x] Skated?: Nope
[x] Made homemade cookies: Yep
[x] Gone skinny dipping: In the bath tub
[x] Dyed your hair: Yep
[x] Stolen anything: Nope.

LAYER SEVEN
[x] Age you hoping to be married: 26
[x] Numbers and Names of Children: 4 - Charleigh, Jordyn , Maurita and Jakub
[x] Describe your dream wedding: Big Beautiful and PINK!
[x] Where you want to go to college: MUN
[x] What do you want to be when you grow up: PR

LAYER EIGHT
In a guy/girl..
[x] Best eye color: Blue.
[x] Best hair color: Light brown..
[x] Short or long hair: Short-ish
[x] Height: taller
[x] Best articles of clothing: Every guy needs a good hoodie.. yup

LAYER NINE
[x] Number of drugs taken illegally: None
[x] Number of people I could trust with my life: 3
[x] Number of CDs that I own: I have no idea
[x] Number of piercings? where?:Just my ears, for now.
b[x] Number of tattoos: 2
[x] Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper?: A few
[x] Number of scars on my body: 1.
[x] Number of things in my past that I regret: Nothing
[x]Last car ride: About 4 hours ago?
[x]Last good cry: This afternoon
[x]Last library book: No idea
[x]Last movie seen:In theatre.. Sin city
[x]Last book read: Agrarian Revolt in a Mexican Village
[x]Last cuss word uttered: "Straighten the fuck up Rhonda.. you're better than this"
[x]Last beverage drank: Coffee
[x]Last food consumed: Chicken.. mmm
[x]Last phone call: umm Kayla?
[x]Last tv show watched: American Idol
[x]Last time showered: about 12pm today
[x]Last cd played: Will Young
[x]Last downloaded: Switch
[x]Last annoyance: Myself
[x]Last disappointment: ...
[x]Last soda drank: umm maybe three weeks ago
[x]Last thing written: Phone number
[x]Last word spoken: le sigh
[x]Last sleep: Last night
[x]Last weird encounter: hmm prolly would be something downtown
[x]Last time amused: haha when Darrin said splooge today
[x]Last time in love: two months ago....
[x]Last time hugged: Sadly i really don't remember.. possibly sunday by Jason
[x]Last chair sat in: Tim Hortons
[x]Last underwear worn: Musical ones
[x]Last time dancing: Tonight .. alone.. i'm not drunk.. yet
[x]Last show attended: Umm O'riellys for Fabes B-day

LAST PERSON WHO...
[x] Slept in your bed: Me
[x] Saw you cry: No one
[x] Made you cry: Ricardo
[x] Spent the night with: I don't remember
[x] You shared a drink with: Kayla
[x] You went to the movies with: Jason
[x] You went to the mall with: Jason
[x] Yelled at you: Mom,
[x] Sent you an email: Jor

HAVE YOU EVER...
[x] Said "I Love You" and meant it: Yes
[x] Gotten in a fight with your pet: Play fights
[x] Been to New York: No
[x] Florida: yes
[x] Hawaii: No
[x] Mexico: No
[x] China: No
[x] Canada: Yes
[x] Danced naked: Yes
[x] Dreamed something really crazy and then it happened the next day: Yes
[x] Wish you were the opposite sex: Nope
[x] Had an imaginary friend: Yep

RANDOM
[x] Red or blue: Red
[x] Spring or Fall: Fall
[x] Are you bored: doesn't it look that way?
[x] Last noise you heard: How gay are you? - kid yelled it outside a few seconmds ago
[x] Last time you went out of the province: a year ago
[x] Things you like in a girl/guy: General attraction. Hes gotta be funny though, and easy to talk to and make me feel like i'm worth something..
[x] Worst feeling in the world: Unrquitted love
[x] How many rings before you answer: two
[x] Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: nope.
[x] Do you type with your fingers on the right keys: No
[x] What's under your bed: nothing
[x] Favorite sport to watch: Soccer
[x] Current Age: 19
[x] Siblings: 1
[x] Boyfriend/Girlfriend: No

EXTRA STUFF
[x] Do you do drugs: Nope
[x] Do you drink: Like a fish
[x] Who is your best friend: Ashleigh Kayla and Murr
[x] What clothes do you sleep in: depends. Sometimes pyjamas, sometimes t-shirt and undies and sometimes naked!
[x] Who is the last person who called you: Kayla
[x] Who do you really hate: No one, really, although i wouldn't mind seeing someone in great pain lol
[x] Been in Love: Twice
[x] What type automobile do you drive: 2003 Sunfire
[x] Are you timely or always late: Late
[x] Do you have a job: Yep
[x] Do you like being around people: I do.
[x] Best feeling in the world: Knowing someone love you
[x] Are you for world peace: Yes

STUFF
[x] Have you ever loved someone you had no chance with: Yeah
[x] Have you ever cried over something someone of the opposite sex did: Oh yes.
[x] Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: Jerks are great with me it seems
[x] Want someone you don't have right now: Very much
[x] Are you lonely right now: very
[x] Ever afraid you'll never get married: Nope

FAVORITE
[x] Room in house: My bedroom
[x] Type(s)of music: Pop?
[x] Band: Evanescence
[x] Day of the week: Friday, Saturday
[x] Color(s): Pink
[x] Perfume or cologne: So Pink
[x] Month: October

LAST 48 HOURS, HAVE YOU...
[x] Cried: Yes
[x] Bought something: Yes
[x] Gotten sick: yep
[x] Sang: Yes
[x] Said " I love You": Yes
[x] Wanted to tell someone you loved them: More than anything
[x] Met someone new: Nope
[x]Moved on: ...I'm not sure
[x] Talked to someone: Yes
[x]Missed someone: All the time
[x] Kissed someone: Nope
[x] Had a lot of sleep: nope

Just something. Please comment *sad face*

I shiver beneath my skin
So cold, so alone.
I used to draw my warmth from your presence
Like a flame for my soul
there was brightness, a flicker and nothing.
Darkness, alone once again.
Adaptation has set in and I ignore its cries
longing for companionship in its empty home.
If I feel nothing
I lose nothing.
Response is not needed.
though much desired by immortality
life needs it not.
Answers are often statements one does not want to hear
and questions need not be asked again
understanding is pain
pain is you.
Amnesia is bliss.
Bliss is the past.
looking forward scares me
staring backward hurts me
and beside me... nothing.
All my soul needs
is someone to embrace it.

By: Me

Nerds.. Fire.. hairspray and coffee

So tonight.. I was sitting down.. contemplating on wheter or not it would be another friday night spent in waste and my buddy Chris msgs me and asks me to save him from his younger brothers B-day party. So I picked him up and we went to the 99 cent store.. the adventure began.. lol

Chris spent 10$ on junk lol most notably caps and a lighter.. we built some sort of contraption out of them and set it on fire in front of my house.. spraying it with hairspray and the like. It was hilarious.. then we went to Tims and got like 4 coffee type drinks between us.. and never won a damn thing on the roll up the rim. Conversation also made me realize.. WOW I date a lot of losers.. whats the deal? I mean I've been on like a 19 year dry spell. Ugh.. boys. Did you ever notice no matter where you are and who you're with conversation always turns to relationships... dating.. sex.. its weird. hmm

Anyhoo I don't really have much to write so i'm gonna leave you with some song lyrics again.

"Since U Been Gone"

Here's the thing

we started off friends

It was cool but it was all pretend

Yeah yeah

Since U Been Gone

You dedicated

you took the time

Wasn't long till I called you mine

Yeah Yeah

Since U Been Gone

And all you'd ever hear me say

Is how I pictured me with you

That's all you'd ever hear me say

But Since U Been Gone

I can breathe for the first time

Im so movin on

Yeah yeah

Thanks to you

Now I get

What I want

Since U Been Gone

How can I put it?

you put me on

I even fell for that stupid love song

Yeah yeah

Since U Been Gone

How come I'd never hear you say

I just wanna be with you

I guess you never felt that way

But Since U Been Gone

I can breathe for the first time

Im so movin on

Yeah yeah

Thanks to you

Now I get I get what I want

Since U Been Gone

You had your chance you blew it

Out of sight, out of mind

Shut your mouth I just can't take it

Again and again and again and again

Since U Been Gone

I can breathe for the first time

Im so movin on

Yeah yeah

Thanks to you (thanks to you)

Now I get

I get what I want

I can breathe for the first time

Im so movin on

Yeah yeah

Thanks to you (thanks to you)

Now I get (I get)

You should know (you should know)

That I get I get what I want

Since U Been Gone

Since U Been Gone

Since U Been Gone

Yes.. two updates in one day

Its been awhile since I made a real update so I'll give you the "in a nutshell" version of whats been going on.

In the midst of exams right now. Wrote my first this morning. My sexual Behavious exam. It was pretty easy.. I'm clearly the sex master :P I have two more exams one tuesday and one next friday.. then DT next weekend :D yaaaay! I'm so excited to get out and have fun with my friends again.. Its been awhile since I got to hang out with all my friends.. seems the only person I get to hang out with a great deal is Evan.. and I don't even see him that often. BUt i guess everyone is busy with Exams .. and work.. and boyfriends. Not that there is anything wrong with that .. I guess i'm just looking forward to a break .

I also wanna talk about my new therapy that i've been doing called Naturopathy. Anyone who knows me has known about my back problems i've been having since grade 9.. and thanks to naturopathy and Dr Wang I've never felt this good before. Naturopathy is ancient chinese medicine. the method she uses on me is called the scraping method where she, literally, takes a spoon and rubs it down my back and hips for like half an hour. HOw it works it that basically she gives me deep tissue bruises. the brusing brings the healthy blood cells to the surface which in turn repair the damaged tissue. Anyone who is interested in learning more can ask me about it. I know its prolly boring to most of you but honestly if you felt as good as I do.. especially since about this time last year I was walking with a cane.. you guys would be amazed too.

Anyhoo thats really all i have to say. Leave comments guys!

Peace and Blessings!!

A Letter to a friend.. here's hoping he see's it some day

Dear Charlie,
There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you. You were my best friend for over a year and you touched my life in ways you cannot even imagine. You seen me when to everybody else I was invisable. We wasted away a whole summer together and I learned more about life in those three months than I could have ever imagined. But i Really feel I let you down somewhere a long the way. I feel guilty about it constantly. I find myself wondering if there was something I could have done to save you from yourself, and the hideous black world that enveloped you. Chuck is dead to me. Charlie however is still alive.. but resembalance to Chuck is hard to find. I lost Chuck the night I saw him flying high.. screaming foul words at innocent people. Thats the night he died to me.
Was there something I could have done to save you from the drugs? Could I have stopped it? Or was it an endless battle i was doomed to lose from the begining?
I love you. I love you with all my heart and soul. I am here for you forever. No matter what. I know you're not going to read this. Its been almost 3 years since I last saw you. But you're with me every day. In my thoughts and in my prayers. God bless you Charlie. I miss you.

Love Forever,
Rhonda

Things I've learned at 19.

I know I'm only 19 years old.. and sometimes I act like I'm four.. but consdiering all I've been through I really think I've learned a lot about life for my age. Especally within the last year. Which has been most definatly the hardest year of my life.. but probably the best as well. Being in a horrible mood tonight I tried to think of all the things I have to be thankful for and all the great lessons I've learned at such a young age.. so I decided I should write some of it down.. so here goes:

If something is too good to be true.. most likely it is.. but you should never waste those good times. Because even in the roughest of times you can always go back and draw the happiness you felt from your memory and be warmed by its presence.

No matter what.. be able to laugh at yourself. Even when you do the stupidest of things if you can laugh at yourself no one can ever put you down.. even if you take a nose dive off the stage at benders.

Drinking is never a good idea if you plan on forgetting your problems. Drinking only magnifys an already intense emotion. And if you're not careful you'll end up sitting in the middle of a kitchen floor crying into some cranberry juice and vodka about how a boy broke your heart.

Thanks to a Garth Brooks song.. No matter how much you pray for something to happen.. God knows best. And even if he doesn't give you what you want.. he's giving you what you need.. and someday you'll end up thanking him for it.. so grit your teeth and power through it. Because in the words of a very wise english teacher.. tomorrow is a better day.

Say something nice about yourself everyday. You're your own worst critic.

Take "me" time.

Make time for the people most important to you at least once a week. A friendship needs love and attention to grow too. Not just relationships.

You're never to old for a basic anatomy lesson.. right Kayla?

Its ok to cry.

Never regret a feeling. Feelings are your souls way of talking to you.. and if its trying to say something you should probably listen.

Believe in something. Whether it be God.. yourself.. or the future. Everyone needs something to believe in.

Words to live by: Picture yourself as a cup.. and Love as water.. first you must fill the cup completely .. and it will overflow and spread around you.. if you just spill it everywhere .. you're left empty.

It's ok to admit to not knowing the answer.. or being confused.. just know its also ok to ask for help when you need it.

If you live for tomorrow you'll miss today

If you let a person become a lifestyle something needs to change. And if someone that loves you wants you to change.. they don't love you. Love means accepting you for who you are.. not wanting you for what you're not.

Alcohol will make you do things you normally wouldn't. Always rely on the buddy system when on George Street.

Never underestimate the power of a smile

Drugs ruin lives. Seriously. Don't do it.

Anger is a healthy emotion in small doses. Don't bottle it up and let it explode one day at the mall...

The most beautiful thin in the world is when a child smiles and says they love you. Children don't lie about things like that.

If you're incapable of forgiveness.. you're probably incapable of love

Don't worry about the little things.. bigger things are just ahead.

Your heart is a lot smarter than your head most of the time.

Try to go to sleep each day believing the world is a better place because of you.. not in spite of you.

Love makes the world go around.. not greed.

Live with intentions

Take chances.. walk on the edge sometimes

Do what you love and love what you do.. never settle for second best.

Sing in the car when you're driving with your friends.. even if you don't know the words... make them up, You'd be surprised how good it feels.

Watch the sun go down and come up again all in one night. and enjoy the stars.

Don't waste your time with people who are going to bring you down. Surround yourself with people who will lift you higher.

Being afraid of stupid things will get you teased.. a lot.. but it will also prove you're human.

If you jump.. you may fall.. but if you don't your feet will always be on the ground.

Its never too late. Ever.

there isn't a real unicorn petting farm. But the pretend one sure is fun

If you take the short cut.. you miss the scenery.

knowing isn't always enough

It is possible to fall in love more than once.

Don't hold grudges.. its pointless.

You don't always need to act your age.. its ok to escape sometimes.

Be different! " You don't get harmony when everyone sings on the same note"

The more you give the more you get back

Only say I love you mean it. and when you mean it say I love you


Summers are for romance.. even if its just in the movies.

Beauty comes in all sizes.. not just size 5.

Love. Love your family, your friends and most importantly yourself. You never know when you'll lose one

And most important
Be thankful. For everything. Period. You woke up this morning. You have absolutely no reason not to be greatful.

An odd week.

I'm in an off mood right now. I will warn you. I'm just feeling so spaced out.

I have all these random thoughts in my head. What if this is what its all about? What if we struggle our whole lives just to be disappointed in ourselves time and time again by our short comings? No matter how hard we work and how much we accomplish there are still those few small things you just can't seem to forget. Those things that overshadow your accomplishments and make you seem like a failure. In my Life I call this "The Charlie Complex". Of all the great things I have I still find myself thinking about the one thing I never could. This is not to say I want what I can't have.. it's just That I would like to know what life would be like. I guess life really is just a compilation of "What if's?"
What if I had moved to BC
What if I hadn't changed my life back in June?
What if I hadn't taken that semester off?
I know its all pretty silly. I am completely happy with everything I have in my life. I'm so thankful for all the blessings my Lord has bestowed upon me over the past 19 years. I wouldn't change anything if I could. I know everything happens for a reason and that God has a greater plan for me, but what if? Its only human to question ones dentiny right? Sometimes I just wish I knew what God had in store for me. Because sometimes its just hard to look forward in my life when i'm not really sure what it is i'm looking for..

I warned you I was in an odd mood...
there you go Evan something to read.

Last night I almost died.

Words that will forever haunt my mind " Left right or Fire Hydrant?". LOL You don't put pressure on me like that Evan!! Let this be a lesson. Forks in the road are never our friends.

Anyway On to the real reason for this entry. Does anyone ( I know Ash and Kayla will for sure) remember the infamous lollipop that I went on about for ooooh two weeks and how awesome it was? Yeah I thought so. Evan bought me TWO of them last night! Its a tie for the Happiest night of my life ( tied with when I hugged Bill Gregory on saturday night lol) this year. Evan is now my new favorite person for yesterday and today. Possibly tomorrow. But he said he doesn't wanna see me anymore now anyway because i'm dying my hair pink today lol

Anyhoo I have some things i must do before i go to get my hair did. Cheers beautiful people

Peace and Blessings

Soo soo tired.

I don't really have the energy to write an entry today. I'm poooooped. I never got home until 5:30 this morning. Not that i'm complaining. I had an awesome time..:) anyhoo thats all you get. I'm tired. I'm going to bed.. Here's some song lyrics.. interpret how you wish. I'm sick of dwelling on this. You know who this is for.

"Take It All Away"
So much beauty in life
Shining on the outside
Empty on the inside
I get lost sometimes
Blinded by the flashing lights
Distractions always in my eyes
So i'm following the sound,
the sound of my heart
Beating

[chorus]
You can take it all away
I don't need it Underneath,
i'll still be the same
You can take it all away
I don't need it, it's not me
You can take it all, take it all away
I'll still be the same
Are you hiding still?
Don't you want to love yourself?
Don't you know that someone will?
Time can turn it around
Leave it all and strip it down
That's the only way to find it out
Are you following the sound,
the sound of your heart?
Beating

[chorus]

Coming in with nothing,
leaving with the same
It's all inside
Coming in with nothing,
the only thing that saves
Is here inside

[chorus]

" Set yourself Apart from this Corupt Generation" - Pope John Paul II

First off I would like to say I had a horrible nights sleep. I went to bed like 10:30 and Evan woke me up sometime after 2 I believe and I chatted until after 4. I think I may have had a hand in upsetting Evan and for that I'm sorry.
I was glued to CNN most of the night. That channel is addicting. Obviously anyone who has turned on a TV in the last two days has known the Pope has not been in great condition and this was the story I have been following. I never realized how amazing the Popes life has been. Born Poor. His mother deied when he was 9.. his father just a few years after his mother passed away. He was hit by a truck, not once, twice ( also the reason he has that stooped appearance, which I had always acreditied to his age), and he actually studied acting for a short period of time before he entered the Preist hood. Then going through all those steps to become Pope and being shot! That is one eventful life ladies and gentleman! The quote in my title is something I heard him say in a clip last night and I think its something to live by. Very Inspiring. Although right now the Pope has not been pronounced dead I will say this. Rest in Peace your Holiness.
On a completely different topic I had the weirdest dream last night that actually has put a real damper on my mood today. I dreamed that I was in Michael Wiffin's ( I know weird already) shed and I was soo stressed out about the past few months. and he offered me a joint. anyone who knows me knows that because of Charlie I have made a solemn promise to myself never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever even so much as try a drug. But in my dream i took this massive joint and smoked the whole things really fast. And i felt absolutely wonderful. The best I've felt since.. well i'll leave that part out. So i was sitting at this table laughing and giggling. and they all decided to go for a walk. so one chick that was with us forgot her boots or something so we waited in the driveway for her.. and i was standing there and it had all hit me what I had done. I broke the most important promise I've ever made to myself. and i just fell to the ground crying. I disappointed myself beyond belief. I've never, ever felt so bad in my life. Dream or not. I never want to disappoint myself like that. I want to make sure nothing like what happened to Chuck ever happens to me. I'm really in a terrible mood because of this. :(
Anyhoo I think I'm gonna go get a shower.. Perhaps go laptop shopping today .. Again.. If i did upset you last night .. I'm sorry

Peace and Blessings