This week..

So this week I realized a few things. first off I think if cared half as much about myself as I do about other people I would be much much happier. I've cried for other people three times this week. And I've spent most of my week concenred about other people.. to the point i forgot to eat on two different days. Thing is I can't even see why I bother. Its like any time I try to make anyone happy that person or another tell me what it is I am doing wrong with MY life. Like i'm some kind of idiot for being concerned about other people. I know very well what I'm doing. It makes me happy to see other people happy. what brings me down is those people telling me its wrong to think that way. If i was doing it for gratitude I wouldn't do it at all.. as I rarely get any. Thats not what its about. Its about one human being reaching out to another when they need someone.
Secondly on a somewhat related note I also realized most of my stress comes from trying to please everyone. I try to please my parents by coming home on time, I try to please my girls by staying out and chilling with them, I try to please other friends by talking to them and getting to know them better and spending time with them, i try to please the people I work with by volunteering to take on more work than I can probably handle on my own..I leave very little time for me to understand whats going on around me. I guess i'm just used to having someone there to calm me down and hug me when I really need it. I can't remember the last time somebody hugged me because *I* needed it.
Its not that I feel underappreciated or anything. Thats not what I'm saying. I guess what I'm really saying is I miss having someone to keep me sane. Someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be ok. Someone to tell me the world spins without me, because sometimes I tend to forget these things. I miss being loved. People just aren't meant to be alone.


..Peace and Blessings