It takes so much out of me just to be me. My job is awesome but I constantly worry about work. All of the time. If you hadn't noticed I just can't leave work at work at all. And then I have all of these people who want so much from me. So much that I just can't give right now. I've spent the last 5 years of my life constantly worried about another person, is it really so much to ask to want to focus on me for a little while?
This being alone thing is so new to me. It really is. I just don't know how to deal with it and its really taking a lot out of me. I've been seeing someone since right afer boys stopped being gross and now i'm alone for the very first time. Its a scary world to face alone. Its a good thing that I'm doing it because it really is something that everyone should experience, but how much can i take before i crumple and have no one to lean on. its all so very confusing to me. I just wish I knew what I wanted so i could please people and start being me again. I haven't felt like myself in months. I just wish i could get away from everything for awhile. go do something fun and exciting. I'm just feeling so much pressure from everyone. I feel like i'm letting people down and disappointing everyone. I miss the happy hyper Rhonda too but she's scared to come out and get hurt again I think ... *sigh*
*sings*
'Cause it's a bittersweet symphony this life
Trying to make ends meet, you're a slave to the money then you die
I'll take you down the only road I've ever been down
You know the one that takes you to the places where all the veins meet, yeah
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change, but I'm here in my mold
I am here in my mold But I'm a million different people from one day to the next
I can't change my mold, no, no, no, no, no
Well, I've never prayed, But tonight I'm on my knees, yeahI
need to hear some sounds that recognize the pain in me, yeah I let the melody shine,
let it cleanse my mind , I feel free now But the airwaves are clean
and there's nobody singing to me now
No change, I can't change, I can't change, I can't change,
but I'm here in my mold , I am here with my mold
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3 comments:
You really worry about everything too much, it's not good for you.
it's great that you care about things so much that you show emotion about it; but you need to just get away from it.
You can't leave your work at work? I never would've known :p
Being alone sucks, I loathe it. Hence the girlfriend search.
I dunno it's weird, I like being single; but I don't like it.
If only I could make up my mind.
anywho, i love you muchly wifey.
I may not be right beside you, but You'll never be without someone to lean on if I can help it. *hugs*
I may not be right beside you, but you'll never be without someone to lean on. *hugs*
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