Remember when..

I used to use this blog thing to talk about how insanely happy I was and how I had not a care in the world.. *sigh* how those were the days.. I talked, earlier in a BK journal entry, about how i didn't understand how I could be so drastically different from high school and still feel like the exact same person. In high school I felt ingnored and rejected from most people, aside from my small group of friends, now its like everyone has some use for me and needs me to be there for them right now. I have so many people pulling me in so many different directions all the time and I really have no idea which way to go. I'm begining to think most of my goals I have set for my sel, i'm not going to be able to obtain. So what do I do? The easiest way is not always the best way, I know, but is it ok for me to take the easy way out once in my life? just not prevent myself from further complicating my situations. Just go with the flow and hope everything works out? or should I continue to fight for what I truly want like I always do and most likely end up disappointed and hurt? I know I'm strong. I am a very strong person. I never would have gotten through half of the things I did without being strong, but it was only one straw that broke the camels back, right? how do I know it won't be the next one that does it for me? Life really terrifys me. Why is life so full of impossible questions... "whats the meaning of life?".." Why don't you love me anymore?"

Peace and Blessings