In response

Ok seems i have lost the comments from my page as i have updated how comments are recived. I would however still like to address the individual who in a previous comment, has accused me of using people. I feel there has been some type of miscommunication and i ask this person , who chose to remin annymous, to contact me so we can figure this whole situation out. I don't think i have used anyone and i apologize if i have made you , or someone you know feel this way. I'd like to think i'm a fair person and I hate to think someone out there is thinking ill of me for something i obviously did not even realize i was doing. I ask this person to please comment and tell when i have done or contact me via MSN, phone, or hey .. just come up and talk to me. Again i'm sure this is just a complete misunderstanding, because as anyone can tell you i am not in any way a malicious person and I try to be kind to everyone. again i'm very sorry. please get in touch with me so we can sort this mess out

Peace and Blessings!

Mood: Tired Music:When Doves Cry

Ok so its been roughly three weeks since i got my tonsils out. things are pretty much back to normal. i'm still a lil limited as to what i can eat but thats by choice because some things still hurt. I'm allowed out and about , driving and all as per usual. Wednesday I left the docs office dropped my mom home and went straight to Ricardo's .. I got there like 9:30am and he was still in bed. not that he or I complained about the situation.. hehe but that requires a journal with a different subject matter. haha My boy is gone home for christmas now and I miss him very much. Its amazing how attached you can get to a guy in such a short period of time... never thought it could happen. Espcially since i was so dead set against getting into a relationship again. But i guess when everything fell through with me going to BC in january it was like God was opening a window for me. I'm really lucky to have such a great guy who makes me feel so special.... has anyone else noticed that my posts have been focused solely on Ricardo lately? haha
Christmas is also next weekend. I'm not overly excited at all. I have absolutely no idea what i'm getting.. which is weird.. i usually do. But this year i have absolutely no desire to know what i have either. I dunno .. since i stopped believing in Santa and more recently since my Grandfather died 3 years ago it just hasn't been the same at all Christmas just seems to go by like any other day with the exception that i dress better lol. maybe i'm just being a scrooge. But really I'm the second youngest in my extended family .. so i mean the spirit of Santa and all that crap is gone and my family doesn't appreciate the true meaning of christmas like I do.. its weird i guess.
So this is what has become my weekly posting ritual. I promise to try and get better. I mean i've missed out on posting great things like when I fell ( or as i like to call it jumping without such a graceful landing) off the stage at benders or when i finally told David Guiney how i really feel about him. Oh well i'll have to save that for another entry. But right now i'll just focus on going to bed! Goodnight loyal readers

Peace and Blessings :)

P.S. to the person that left the comment on my other entry please see my reply?

This is something some people have been asking for.

As a lot of people know and a lot of people still don;t know i keep a journal at home of my thoughts and feelings, I write them in many different forms.. sometimes songs poem short essays or just lil descriptive paragraphs. I have had some requests to see this writing but as you can appreicate i'm not too comfortable sharing my inner most thoughts and desires. however i decided to share just one entry i wrote earlier this summer when i decided i wasn't going to return to MUN like most of my peers.

Have you ever felt like you were walking aimlessly through shadows and tangled knots of uncertainty? Never sure of how to reach your destination? Always questioning the direction of every step you take? Completely oblivious to anything your future may hold? I chose to throw the life plan everyone else had decided on for me out the window and choose my own path in life and now I feel lost. I am sure of my destination but completely and utterly insecure about the journey. But I refuse to let anyone take my hand and lead me to a safe place where I am unhappy about my life and my choices. I will venture into the deep forest of ambiguity alone and triumph when I reach the other side as the woman I want to be.

All this time and no update!

So i've been in my house pretty close to two weeks now. I'm going insane. My only relief is when my friends breifly come to visit me. Ricardo has been in to see me twice. God love him. He was here yesterday and i swear it was as good as a day out of this house. I have so much fun with him. He's great. I can't believe how lucky I am that he chose me :)
My Tonsils ( or lack there of) are feeling much better. I can swallow without much difficulty ( haha i see Erin cracking up at that comment) and i'm on pretty solid foods although i can't eat much because i haven't eaten a whole lot since the 30th. Maybe enough for three days of full healthy meals. But i'm slowly getting better and its only 2 more sleeps until i'm alloed out of the house for my work christmas thingy down to the delta. Brunch mmm. Hey.. wait.. I can't eat brunch! this sucks! lol At least i'll look sexy! hehe and i get to go to Ricardo's for a lil while after sooo yaaaaaaaaaaaaay hehe! I can't wait to see him again!
Anyway I don;t have much else to write because frankly i've done nothing for two weeks. But I figured i should just keep my loyal audience updated. so COMMENT PEOPLE!!!! THIS MEANS YOU! *points finger*

Peace and Blessings! :)

Today's Breakthrough

Well yesterday I fought alot to eat anything. This Morning i am kicking foods butt! I had a whole bowl of tim hortons soup. now mind you i didn;t eat the chicken or the veggies cos thats hard and i can't get that stuff down yet. but i did eat all the juice and noodles. it was sooo yummy. soo much better than baby food! Mom said i can have more soup for my supper if i want it! god knows i don't want any more baby food! lol I did have a lil but of mashed potato last night though. That was good too.

I'm really sad i don't get to go to the family christmas party this year. I was thinking about it earlier. That sucks. Oh well at least i still get to go to brunch with the crowd from day care. I love those guys! thats next weekend. i should be ok to go by then. i won't be able to drive but i'll be able to eat a lil more than i am now. Anyway i'm gonna go take a shower cos i'm dirty. maybe put on some real clothes as people have said they're gonna come see me today! yaaay!

Peace and Blessings!

It starts.

I got my tonsils out yesterday. I have to say it was the most fun I've EVER had... this my friends is called sarcasim. I want to be shot in the foot to get my mind off the pain my throat. I'm sitting here in bed trying to struggle down some watered down baby food and it feels like millions of tiny razor blades scraping their way down my espohogus. I woke up 2:30 this morning to take some meds and i was in so much pain i just couldn't sleep. Thank God for me and Roxy's sex talks. LOL famous quote of the week

Roxy: Rhonda is good at hiding it, but when the time comes she's good at riding it!

Haha I love you Roxy. Thanks for keeping me occupied this morning when I felt so craptacular. The only question is now what do i do for the next two weeks. I'm not allowed to drive until the 15th. which i normally wouldn't complain about because i hate driving but when my b/f lives so close yet so far it really makes me mad. I wanna see Ricardo now!! I wanna scream! the only thing that hurts more than eating is talking! i've been usuing my computer as communication. Typing on word what i want to say to my parents or the msgs i want them to relay on the phone for me. It really sucks. esp if you know me and know how much i loooove to talk. Talking is what supported me all through high school. now.. nothing. I have no idea how long it will be before i can talk properly. I know one thing.. when you look back inmy mouth it looks so empty.. i wonder how much i can fit back there LOL anyway i should go try to struggle more baby food down. yukkkkk. shoot me please. Anyone feel free to come see me. Just call first so i look decent. you know where to find me. In bed. LOL

Peace and Blessings

For Those of you who for some reason have been reading a strangers blog..(weirdo!) this is a fairly recent pic of me, Rhonda.. Tada!

A Great Week..

Well.. Well.. Well.. here I am again. I'm getting really bad for not updating this thing but you know what.. c'est la vie. I've been really busy this week. What with my new pimp daddy and all. Haha too funny. I think Ricardo has to be the most fun guy i know. He's awesome. Not to mention really hot with a very sexy smile :P
I got laid off from work on friday. I asked for it. Not reallysure what i'm gonna do now but I have to get my tonsils out on tuesday so i can worry about it after i get that all fixed up :P yukk i can't imagine what its gonna be like eating all that crap constantly . ooh dear.
So the Santa Claus Parade is today too. I never got to go last year so i'm really excited about going this year. Santa Claus Parade rocks Gosh Darn it! I get to wear my sexy new jacket too w00t! haha. anyway i should go get a shower and the like.

Peace and Blessings!

Its offical..

Ok .. girls.. my dears... my fave people in the whole world.. you're nuts! lol OMG geez.. make fun of my big butt in front of company! whats that all about.. I like my butt... lol Least i got a butt Ash!! lol Last night was awesome though. I'm really glad that Ash and Kayla got to meet Ricardo on our adventure last night. twas fun. Murrrrrrdogg!!! You shoulda been there! Kayla got peach juice in her eye! I mean come on how funny is that. Ashleigh was also talking about how my fishermans friend case could be used to hold joints in front of three cops lol. Way to go ash. Thats ok they were on their two hour break like mine i guess . anyway i'm too cold to write a long entry today. I just wanted to make this simple point. I had the most awesome weekend i've had in a long time and I have one person to thank for it. That person knows who they are though. So thank you :)

Peace and Blessings

Another great night.

I had an awesome day yesterday. Not very productive but awesome all the same. I spent the whole day with Ricardo. I see my friends reading this going "who the heck is that" don't worry guys. i'll explain after lol we went shopping yesterday afternoon and i got absolutly nothing for christmas gifts :( then we went to a movie.. seed of chucky.. stop scowling stefan! then we went back to his place and watched Mr 3000. Best movie i've watched in a long time ;) hehe. I was really worried all last week that this weekend would suck. Boy was I wrong. I hate that i only have one week left though before i'm forced inside on a diet of mush! *gross*

BTW now is a very oppertune time to tell my girlies that if you have any idea whatyou want for christmas pplllleeeeeeeaaasssseee let me know! I'm so lost and i don;t have that much time left. Kayla, I have something for you already but i need to get you somethinbg else. Murrdogg and Pokey.. i have no idea what to get you! Its really depressing lol Price club today! lol anyway. i'm laying in bed at 10:20 in the morning and i'm feeling kinda hungry. i forgot to eat yesetrday. so i'll write more some other time

Peace and blessings!

This is an awesome pic of me and my girlies. I wanted to share it with ya'll. They are the best friends I could ever ask for. Oh yeah! Oh Yeah!

Downtown.. again.. yeah yeah I know !

What an awesome night last night. I got my arm twisted and ended up downtown for my fourth weekend in a row. OMG what am I thinking? Soo worth it though :) I went down with Janine and Ches and Chandima.. Sean, Hailey Hayden Stephie.. all that crowd. But I spent most of the night with Ricardo :) I dunno if i was really drunk or in a really good mood or what but i think it was the best night downtown thus far! I was in such a horrible mood last night too. Not saying that drinking solves problems but getting out last night was just awesome! totally worth the money i spent on it. After next weekend i'm laid up anyway. Damn tonsils. I have to spend the entire day next monday at St. Claires by myself. i'm going to crack up. then on tuesday i go under the knife. So everyone start making your appointments to hang out with me at home for the next three weeks, my doc doesn't expect me to get better real quick cos i'm sol old. she said a few days before christmas i should be back to normal. How crappy is that!? I'm going to crack up. at least i don't have to work lol! but alot of good that is. I'm actually dreading monday more than tuesday next week though lol. i hate the thought of sitting at the hospital all day by myself. they told me to eat breakfast and bring a book lol when the hospital says "bring a book" you can be pretty positive that you're there until the cows come home. grrrr. anyway i'm gonna get the smell of smoke out of my hair. Can't wait for later :)

Soo..

I'm becoming slack with these entrys!oh well.. i'm doing a lot better than what i expected. I'm home for lunch right now, nursing my burn from my attempt to cook lunch. I poured boiling water on my tummy. not cool. very hot actually! lol ooh bad joke! lol
So I went to see the polar express last night! what a CUTE movie! thats right Brad i said cute! Brad and I went. I had alot of fun! I remember Ms. Power reading that to us in the library in Elementary school! anyone else remember that? aww i used to love it! haha which on a somewhat related topic.. is anyone else excited about the spongebob movie?! Yes ok i know i'm 19 .. but spongebob is cool!! hmm i need cherry sauce. lol anyway.. i gotta go get that so i'll wroite more later! Oh yeah Oh yeah!

Peace and Blessings!

This weekends adventures!

Saturday night was not the best night downtown but i still had an awesome time! We went to Benders and the Sundance this time! It was cool. Boys are funny. lol All you have to do is smile at them and you can get them to do almost anything you want. I got some poor guy to ditch his friends and come to the sundance with us. it was quite the funny. He was from Nova Scotia. The guys from placentia forgot their ID's at home. i was quite the mad! never got to hang out with them.. i mean now what are we supposed to make fun of for the rest of the week? no funny quotes to wear out! i guess we'll have to stick to "oh yeah Oh yeah" for this week! lol I know i'll never drink like i did this weekend. OMG .. i really don;t know how much i had.. at least 6 drinks i can count downtown and the two at ashleighs house. Oh dear.. what was i thinking. Poor Brad... how many times did i grab your butt? uhh what an impression lol hmm guess i did something right though ;) lol anyway.. i have to go back to work.. write more laters!

Peace and Blessings

A week in Review.

Hello?.... Hello? .. Dat you Bas?

What an awesome week. I got to spend a lot of time with the girls! I mean .. OMG what a bunch of fun. Ash's birthday is tomorrow night and we're all ( minus Murrdogg.. :( ) going downtown to celebrate. Me and kayla and Ash and the guys from Placentia, Ash's b/f. Gonna be a wicked time.
So today was 20% day at the avalon mall. I got off work early and went out to meet up with the girlies. They had already been there since 8am when i got there at 2. and we spent another 2 hours there with me. I got a hoooot new black halter top for tomorrow night and a sexy black halter bra. ohh the boys will want me even .... badder? tomorrow night lol Driving home from the mall was the best though. we were held up in construction on Kenmount rd. so we were dancing and acting like idiots in the car and these two dirty whops in some type of cargo truck were cracking up and smiling and laughing and waving to us and beeping their horn, it was aweeeesome!
ANyhoo i have to go work on Ashleighs present for tomorrow so..

Peace and Blessings!

More downtown Adventures

Ok so i swear to God.. am i wearing a sign that says "Please, Rape me?". Nine people. Yes thats right.. nine people tried to take me home! Now yes it can be flattering.. but when people use lines like .. "hey thats my cousin.. wanna come back to my place" i just wonder.. I must say though i did have an awesome time. The guys from Placentia were absolutly hammered. "oh yeah oh yeah" haha hats for kayla. Poor jackie.. he prolly had to change his boxers when he got home. i never heard a guy sound like that on a dance floor before. haha and johnny.. famous quote for the night " I have a small dick but a 300mph arse" Nice johnny nice. I do reccoment that my friends watch me when i go down next week. My god... why did i give HIM my number? I should have given it to the hot guy from CBS! lol And what was witht he guy from witless bay.. haha "i've been looking for you all night baby. its destiny we're like neighbours!" haha yes thats right dude.. if only you were about 15 years younger lol . Me and Kayla go on some adventures. I can't wait for Ashleigh to turn 19 on saturday! on the booooze lol Downtown is going to turn me into a poor alcoholic. Oh well. until next time

Peace and Blessings

My Day Off

I actually got a day off today. It was awesome. My back was bothering me so i decided rather than go to work and let the kids climb all over me and make it worse that i would take the day off and just relax. I stayed in bed until 11 (thats 12 hours sleep)then just wtached movies all day long. Boy did i need this. I know i haven't done anything of great significance lately but i've been super busy and super stressed and i just needed this day to myself.

Yet i still have the problem that i have absolutely no plans for this weekend. I hate that. I get two days off and nothing to do. What I really wanna do is just curl up and watch a movie with someone, but being single and not seeing anyone... I fail to see how that can happen. Therefore.. i have nothing to do, next to zero cash and several hot new outfits.. life is unfair lol.

Anyhoo, not much else to say. Two more months left in Newfoundland! woot!

Peace and Blessings

Not much on the go

I had a very chill night tonight and boy i needed it I got to see my old friend from back in the old school days at the rec centre which was awesome and just chill out and not worry about the drama i call my life. it was much needed.

anyway as i had such a laid back day i really have nothing to write about. I will use this oppertunity to say though i really just want to chill out on friday night and watch movies... any takers?

Peace and Blessings

Welcome Home Mommy And Daddy!

Mom and dad got home last night after their three week escapade through the panama canal. I didn;t really miss them all that much until yesterday. Actually as bad as it sounds i barely noticed them missing at all. waaay too much fun. However after the events of yesterday i missed being daddy's lil girl. I refuse to post what made me so upset ( and causes me still to be so upset) because for some reason unknowing to me , and to the people i have talked to i understand completely why what was done was done and stilll have a great amount of respect for the person that upset me. which is alot harder because the cowards way out, hating the person, would be alot simpilier. sometimes i wish i was shallow and immature, and i wish i culd just seek revenge on those people that hurt me.. but i can't.

I know i act dumb sometimes. and i can be a bit of an idiot but i'm actually quite intelligent and i actually do feel things just like any other person. sometimes i think people forget that. I tend not to let people know things bother me when actually they're eating away at me day and night. i advise people to stop listening to me and start hearing me... if that makes any sense to anybody at all.

So actually.. i guess i should so you all the much anticipated birthday gift my parents brought me back. I loooooooooooove it!!!
http://www.watchzone.com/isroot/watchzone/Images/wt0001602.jpg

Peace and Blessings

Change of Pace

Instead of making a regular post today I decided to just post a few song lyrics that kind of sum up how I've been feeling lately. These are not directed at anyone in particular. Just how i feel about the situations I've found myself in over the past few months.

Don't By Kelly Clarkson
You look at me,Like you always do.
You don't have a clue.You smile at me,You hug me,But you don't know I want you.
You play with me,You flirt with me,You tell me all your secrets.
I'm always the one you run to, but to you I'm just your friend.
Don't say I love you,
Don't say you need me,
Don't say I trust you,
My heart cant take it.
Don't say you want me,
Don't say you miss me,
Don't hurt me.
Don't say you love me.Ooooh ooooh no… no.. nooo.
I try my best to rid these thoughts,Of you and I it's so hard.
When come to me, I fall back on my knees.I learned to hate love.
You kiss me on the cheek,You say you'd never make it without me.
It's getting harder everyday.Please don't say to me,
Don't say I love you,
Don't say you need me,
Don't say I trust you,
My heart can't take it.
Don't say you want me,
Don't say you miss me,
Don't hurt me.
Don't say you love me.
Don't say you love me.
Don't say you love me.
Don't say you love me.
Don't say you love me.
My heart cant take it.
I love you so much.But you don't see me.
I hate love.Don't say I love you,
Don't say you need me,Don't say I trust you,Unless you mean it.
Don't say you want me,Don't say you need me,Don't hurt me.No…Don't say I love you,Don't say you need me,Don't say I trust you,My heart cant take it.Don't say you want me,Don't say you miss me,Don't hurt me.Don't say you love me.


Someone Else's Star - As preformed by Clay Aiken
Alone again tonightWithout someone to love
The stars are shining bright
So one more wish goes up
Oh, I wish I mayAnd I wish with all my might
For the loveI'm dreaming of
And missing in my life
I guess I must be wishin' on
Someone else's star
It seems like someone else keeps gettin' what I'm wishin' for
Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are?
Oh, I guess I must be wishin'
On someone else's star
Why can't I be as lucky as those other people are?
Oh, I guess I must be wishin'
On someone else's star

Natalie Imbrulia - Torn

I thought I saw a man brought to life
He was warm He came around
And he was dignified
He showed me what it was to cry
Well you couldn't be that man I adored
You don't seem to know
Or seem to care What your heart is for
I don't know him anymore
There's nothin' where he used to lie
My conversation has run dry
That's what's going on
Nothings right I'm torn
I'm all out of faith
This is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
Lying naked on the floor
Illusion never changed
Into something real
I'm wide awake and I can see the perfect sky is torn
You're a little late I'm already torn
So I guess the fortune tellers right
I should have seen just what was there
and not some holy light
But you crawled beneath my veins
And now, I don't care I have no luck
I don't miss it all that much
There's just so many things
That I can't touch I'm torn
There's nothin' he used to lie
My inspiration has run dry
That's what's going on Nothing's right I'm torn

and finally for my girls

Leaving on a Jet Plane

All my bags are packed,
I'm ready to go
I'm standin' here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye
But the dawn is breakin',
it's early morn
The taxi's waitin',
he's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome
I could die
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go'
Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I'll tell you now, they don't mean a thing
Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back I'll wear your wedding ring
So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
Now the time has come to leave you
One more time, oh, let me kiss you
And close your eyes and I'll be on my way
Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the times that I won't have to say
...Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go
'Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
And I'm leaving on a jet plane
I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go
But I'm leaving on a jet plane
(Ah ah ah ah)
Leaving on a jet plane


Peace And Blessingsb